Chapter 10 Hyderabad

Returning to India

We were completely ready [to leave] by the morning of March 12.1 Mahmudullah had already woken up and had breakfast, but neither Majid nor Sajjad showed up, so we left and went to the station. No one was there either. We had left his [Mahmud’s] luggage at the hotel since he needs to go to Plymouth. I had thought to myself, “We will surely find Sajjad and Majid at the station. I will send Mahmudullah with them.” When no one appeared and it was nearly time for the train to leave, we wrote the hotel’s address on a card for Mahmud and left him at the station [to make his way back alone]. I couldn’t stop thinking about how we had failed to meet them. We even sent a telegram though we were already on the way: “Please take care of Mahmud.” We sent another to the hotel: “Please look after the boy carefully.” These worries gnawed at me for an entire day and night.

Leaving London

Today is March 13. I have been worrying about Mahmudullah, Sajjad, and Majid since last night. Why hadn’t they come? In any case, we boarded the Gharbia in the port and set off for India, but I continued to worry.2 I thought about it the entire night.

March 14: The seas are rough. I feel nauseous. The mems and I vomited several times. I struggled through and was better by evening. The ship’s doctor gave me some medicine, and the seas also calmed a bit. By God’s grace, we made it through the night.

March 15: Today was a very pleasant day too.3 I met a Parsi lady. This time all the English people aboard the ship have lived in India for years. I didn’t like their manners at all.4 Even if I have generally found European men and women to be well-mannered, it is still true that “God does not make all five fingers alike.”5 Every nation has both good and bad people.

March 16: We reached Port Said at twelve today. Many poor Arabs brought many things [aboard] to sell. I spoke to them at length in Arabic. All the ladies were shocked. I told them, “We are Muslim. Our pure Qur’an is in Arabic. We know Arabic very well.”

The ship will remain here from noon until 4:00 in the morning. It will depart at 4:00 a.m. The ship is waiting for the European mail to be brought from Brindisi. The buying and selling on board the ship continued until 9:00 p.m., but we went to bed after dinner.

March 17: I thought that the European mail must have arrived last night and that there would surely be a letter from Majid. Majid’s letter soon turned up. I was very happy to know that he and Mahmudullah were all right. He wrote that he and Sajjad had gone home together but then overslept, and that is why they were late. We left the hotel at nine, and they showed up there after. Mahmudullah had already managed to return to the hotel before they arrived, masha Allah. Majid sent him off to school and arranged everything for him there in advance by telegram: “Mahmudullah is coming.” He was going to Plymouth, which is only a few stations away. I am so glad to know that all is well. I am a bit more at peace now.

Returning Home

Translator’s note: The following pages appear to be a summary of the journey from London written at a later time and were not included in Begum Sarbuland’s original diary. She had clearly tired of making entries by the end of the long trip and here this section brings the travel account to a quick close.

These tears of mine turn into pearlsWhen your sight appears before my tear-moistened eyes

I woke up, prayed, had a bath, got ready, and had breakfast [at the hotel in London]. The luggage was packed and ready. I had it removed from the room and sent on to the station. We were planning to leave for the station after Khwaja Abd ul-Majid and my brother Usman Fateh Nawaz Jung bahadur came so that I could entrust to Khwaja Abd ul-Majid the light of my eyes, Muhammad Mahmudullah Khan, who was with me and who was only eight years old.6 However, after quite a long time passed and neither of them showed up, we took Mahmudullah with us to the station. We arrived there at nine and waited for them some more. When they still didn’t come and it was time for the train to depart, we had no other choice but to write down the name and address of the hotel and give [the paper] to the light of my eyes, Muhammad Mahmud Khan. “You take a Victoria [carriage] and go to the hotel. Mamu [uncle] and bhai will meet you there,” we said. We did this, but my heart was racing the whole time. I felt ill at ease leaving a child at the station like that. I felt so bad I cried, but I had no other choice.

The train left London around ten. The trip passed in worry and vexation. We arrived at ten. I met some American ladies and spoke with them for a while. We arrived at Dover around one and had lunch. Then we boarded a ship and crossed the same channel again. We arrived in Paris around three and had the baggage transferred from the ship to the train.7 I wandered about for a bit. We had dinner in a restaurant at eight in the evening. Sarkar said, “I’ll go change some pounds. You go to the train and sit in the cabin.” It was almost time to leave. I went to the station by myself. The train was very long. I walked along the train from one end to the other but couldn’t find my carriage. I started to worry. God! It’s nearly time for the train to leave, and I can’t find my carriage nor my luggage. What if Sarkar assumes his begum is already in her seat and he arrives at the last minute and quickly boards another carriage, leaving me behind? I am nearsighted, so I will not be able to see him when he comes [to board the train].8 It is a full moon tonight, and all the Europeans will be wearing black suits, and Sarkar is wearing the very same kind of black suit. How will I recognize him? Tears welled in my eyes. To make matters worse, in Paris they speak French, which I do not know. Even if I wanted to ask someone for help, they wouldn’t be able to understand English. I stood there thinking about all of this when suddenly I saw Sarkar in the distance calling out to me as he approached. “Run! The train’s already moving!” I set off at a run the moment I heard him. Thankfully, we found the correct carriage. We took our seats.

“What happened to you? Why were you just standing there in the station?” he asked.

“I couldn’t find the right carriage. When we came to the train earlier, there were just one or two carriages, and our luggage was inside. But when I came back, the train was much longer, and I could not locate my carriage. I was nervous and got scared that you would be in a rush and board the train via another carriage, assuming I was already on the train. So I just stood there crying. Then I thought that if I were to board the train now and you end up being late, then I’d have set off by myself. So that’s why I just stood there on the platform.”

Anyhow, we arrived in Brindisi at six in the morning. We got a ship from there from the very same P&O Company that was about to leave for India. I was returning home, but all I could think about was Mahmudullah. I’ve made friends with the wife of a doctor who lives in Mussoorie.

We reached Suez on the fourth day.9 I had been awaiting our arrival here and hoping there would be mail waiting from London so that I could find out what happened with Mahmudullah. But there was no mail. Al-hamdulillah, when we reached Port Said there was mail at last. Khwaja [Abd ul-Majid] and my brother wrote that they were sad to have arrived late. They reached the station in time to watch the train pull away before their eyes. “We did not meet you, but we took Mahmudullah with us and sent him on to Plymouth School the very same day. Don’t worry.” I thanked God.

At Port Said, Arabs brought many goods for sale [onto the ship]. I bought some socks and two kamdani shawls. Then the boat set off again and arrived in Aden after four days. Four days later it reached Bombay. We disembarked here. Professor Muin ud-Din met us at the station and took us to his house. He kept us fed all day long. I went to meet a relative of Lady Hydari’s.10 I bought a few more things from Bombay, and then we both went to the station in the evening to take the train to Hyderabad Deccan. We arrived the following afternoon at four.

In Hyderabad

Sarkar instructed me to leave the train at Begumpet.11 “I already sent a wire. There will be transport waiting. There will be a huge crowd of government officials and my friends at Hyderabad Station. It will be a hassle for you.” I got down the moment we arrived at Begumpet Station. Lady Doctor, Lady Hydari, and my mother had come to the station to receive me. My middle sister-in-law, Begum Doctor Usman Nawaz Jung,12 and Sheila Walker were there too. I was wearing a Turkish burqa with a black niqab. When I flipped the niqab back, they saw that my face had been changed by the blessings of my pilgrimage to the Holy Places and by the European climate. It now had a rosy tinge. Sheila Walker immediately said, “Are you wearing blush?”

“I’m not. Look closer. This is the light [nur] given by God, which was granted to me by my visit to the Prophet’s court.”

I easily arrived home with my mother and sister-in-law. My mother and all my siblings lifted the evil eye from us both. By the grace of God and the intercession of the Lord of Medina [the Prophet Muhammad], my family has looked after me so well and been so gracious to me. Once I was home and reunited with my children, my heart felt light and happy. I was at peace once I had returned to kiss the feet of my dearest mother. I offer every sacrifice to the Lord of Medina, who allowed me to make this journey through the East and the West. I sacrifice myself to the Lord of the Two Worlds. By presenting myself at the threshold of his grave, I had the honor to travel.

Notes

1. 1.This date is repeated in the diary twice. This final chapter contains several inconsistencies.
2. 2.This seems to suggest she sailed directly from England to India. Later entries in the diary, however, more convincingly state that she traveled to Brindisi by rail before boarding a ship bound for Bombay.
3. 3.The diary entries here are somewhat confusing. Her use of the word “too” seems to be an error.
4. 4.Indian travelers often remarked on the difference in attitude and behavior they encountered between long-term British residents in colonial India and that of the British in Britain, where social interactions with Indians were not too strictly policed and racial hierarchies were somewhat less rigid.
5. 5.She uses a Persian phrase here: Khuda panj angusht yaksañ na kard.
6. 6.Here she uses different names for Sajjad and Majid.
7. 7.She presumably means Calais rather than Paris.
8. 8.Clearly she had not started wearing the glasses that she had bought the week before!
9. 9.Suez and Port Said seem to have been flipped in this paragraph. Her ship would have arrived at Port Said before passing through the canal to reach Suez.
10. 10.This line is unclear.
11. 11.The train’s penultimate stop.
12. 12.Sajjad’s wife.