Chapter 6 Mecca

The Holy Land of Arabia

December 17: Our ship reached Jeddah early in the morning. As is our habit, we woke up, did vuzu, prayed fajr, and got ready. When we left our cabin, we saw that the ship had anchored and that there was a heavy rain. We packed our things and were ready to get off the ship, but because of the rain, no boats came out to ferry passengers to shore. There was just one boat going back and forth. It was only three hours later, when the rain stopped, that the boats began to come and the passengers could disembark. The boats are very large. They carry fifty passengers at a time. We waited about until the crowd had reduced and left on the very last boat, which had fewer people. There were still twenty people in it, but we disembarked anyhow. These boats are called baglas. They have large sails and move with the wind. The boatmen shift the sail according to the wind’s direction. The wind was still then, and the boat moved slowly. It was not raining any longer. We landed safely on shore after three hours. We thanked God upon our arrival in the city of Jeddah. Then we gathered our belongings and went to the home of Mahmud Asfi. He is an acquaintance of Nawab sahib’s. This gentleman always allows travelers to stay with him. Our room is very nice. The floor is even covered with carpets. He also gave us good food to eat. We spent the night comfortably.

Traveling by Camel

December 18, 1909: We woke up and, al-hamdulillah, prayed fajr. We had already arranged our onward transport by camel. We had breakfast after the prayer. The camels and the shaghdafs were ready and waiting, but the sky was overcast. It was 8:30. Mahmud Asfi came and said, “My wife and the other [women] would like to meet you.” I very happily accepted and went to the other side of the house and up the stairs to meet them. There were three ladies: his wife, his daughter-in-law, and his daughter. They speak Arabic. They gave me a warm welcome. I understood their language with great difficulty. I answered some of their questions and tried to convey my happiness and gratitude as well as I could. I then took my leave. We both, along with Amina bi, my servant, gathered up our belongings and left the house. My shaghdaf had already been placed on the camel. To enter it, I would have to climb a ladder that had been placed against the camel’s neck. This was a frightening prospect. How can I climb up there? What if the ladder slips?

Nawab sahib has retained two Arab servants here. He told them that they would be employed for the entire hajj season. It was agreed that each of them would be paid two ashrafis in total. They were both thrilled at this and readily agreed. One is named Abd ur-Rahman. He speaks some Urdu. The other’s name is Sayyidi.1

The ladder was leaned against the shaghdaf, and the two servants and a Bedouin stood nearby to support it. I took God’s name and climbed up. Sarkar followed after me. We left Amina bi with Mahmud Asfi. “Please send our remaining luggage with Amina bi in the caravan leaving tomorrow,” we said. Then, bismillah, our camel set off to join the caravan. Laden or not, camels move very slowly. They travel in a chain, with the rope of one camel tied to that of the next. This is a large caravan. There are nearly five hundred camels (fig. 6.1).

It began to rain as soon as the caravan departed. The wind was so fierce that it blew away the wax cloth that had been spread over the top of the shaghdaf. Soon the carpets that had been strung up around the shaghdaf to block out the sun were soaking wet, to the point that water began to drip inside. So much water came in that we were drenched from head to toe. The bedding was sopping wet too. The wind was so cold it felt like arrows piercing our bodies. It occurred to me that perhaps this was a blessing from God and that it was for the best. The Bedouins were ecstatic. Their happiness was boundless. They said, “This caravan is a blessed one. It has not rained in this place for seven years!” We were so cold that our teeth were chattering, but because God’s grace and kindness were with us, we didn’t mind it at all. Along the way we didn’t see the shade of a single tree nor any place one could make camp. The caravan pressed forward, with mountains passing us by on either side. If anyone said, “Brother, please stop the camel,” the Bedouin would reply, “What? You want to be left behind by the caravan so that someone can see you alone and loot you?”

“All right, all right, let’s keep moving then.”

The rain continued for two full hours, but the caravan never stopped. Finally, thank God, al-hamdulillah, the rain stopped, and the sun came out, but the wind continued unabated. At least that had the effect of drying out my clothes. I could not remove my head covering because I was wearing an ihram, but Sarkar took off the upper portion of his ihram, which was soaked through, and gave it to Abd ur-Rahman to put on top of the luggage camel so that it would dry out. The clothes I was wearing eventually dried out themselves as I wore them. By God’s grace, once the rain stopped and our clothes were dry, our moods improved. We weren’t tired at all; in fact, we were hungry. We pulled the bedding from underneath us and had it placed on the second camel to dry.

Ahead of us we saw a few houses made of dried grasses. I was told that they sell coffee, that is, qahwa, here. One of our two servants ran to get two glasses for us. “These glasses cost one hilil each,” he said, taking a little sip from it himself. I said, “What was that? Why did you defile it like that?”2 He replied, “I am Muslim. You are Muslim. Same, same.”3 Sarkar drank the coffee, but I did not. The coffee cups are very, very small. These little coffee huts lined the path for several miles.

I had the shaghdaf stopped, and we got down to renew our vuzu while the caravan continued on in front of us. There are five hundred camels, after all. Then I mounted the camel again, now much more at ease. We have our food with us. We asked for the tiffin basket to be brought and opened it up. We both ate and gave the leftovers to the Bedouin. They were very happy. I had finally warmed up a bit. It was time for asr. We prayed asr in the shaghdaf itself. The camel driver and our servants were so pleased by the food we gave them that they hurried the camel back to the center of the caravan and tied it to the line, shooing everyone else out of the way. They kept saying to us, “Don’t worry at all, be comfortable, we are here for you.” They carry guns on their shoulders with cartridges strung around their waists. They take turns sitting on the second camel that is carrying our luggage.

We reached the end of the first stage at seven in the evening. This is a little village called Bahra.4 There are many huts for travelers to use.5 The shops are lit up with lamps. They sell food, sweets, and so on. There are charpoys and people drinking coffee. There are melons for sale in the shops. We made our way through this scene until we reached a plain. Here our camel was led away from the caravan through a plain to the door of one of the huts. There was a full moon. Its bright light illuminated everything, and we could still see the caravan. We got down from the camel. I was a bit tired. I went into the hut. Our bedding was still not completely dry. Despite this, I spread it out on the ground and, considering it to be dry enough, lay down.

Nawab sahib came in soon after. He was followed in by the Bedouin camel driver, who said, “O Sheikh! Baksheesh!”

“You can have it in Mecca.”

Abd ur-Rahman then said, “O camel driver! You will get your baksheesh in Mecca. Be content.”

Then he left [the hut], but came back a few moments later and said, “Have some coffee.” We drank it but did not like it because it had ginger in it. Then the camel driver said, “I had heard that you are a nawab and a begum. I was very happy because I assumed that I would be getting a lot of baksheesh.”

I replied to him, “No, I am a khanam, not a begum.”6

Afterward, I asked Abd ur-Rahman to explain to him, “We have nothing to do with the pomp and magnificence of nawabs and begums. We are nothing more than two slaves of the Prophet’s door who have come to beseech God Almighty for mercy and forgiveness. We are neither nawab nor begum.” He [the camel driver] was quiet after this. Then Abd ur-Rahman said to Nawab sahib, “Sheikh, you appear to have a lot of inherited wealth. This is how it seems to me.” Nawab sahib just laughed, but I replied, “That is only because you hold us so dearly. In actual fact, we are nothing but base servants of the Prophet.” Then Abd ur-Rahman went quiet too.

If the Bedouin find out that you are wealthy and have plenty of cash to your name, then they will loot you. But our Nawab sahib has organized things so well that we always have access to money, but we never carry with us a cent more than we need at the time. I was so afraid of the Bedouins that I did not let Nawab speak to them much. I was the one in charge of communicating with them, because Arabs take good care of women but like to fight with other men.

We slept for a while. After some time Abd ur-Rahman came and said, “Wake up, Sheikh.”

“What is it?” we asked.

“We’ve agreed to a rate of two ashrafis, right?”

“Yes.”

Then he went outside again. “Well,” I said, “why is he thinking about that at such an hour?”

We woke up at 4:00 a.m., did vuzu, and prayed fajr. I had only just asked Nawab sahib to have the shaghdaf prepared, as usual, when Abd ur-Rahman began to call for Sarkar himself. Al-hamdulillah, after breakfast we got back into the shaghdaf. Sarkar stretched out comfortably, but I remained seated upright out of fear.

The Land of the Haram

December 19, 1909: In the morning the caravan resumed its journey to Mecca. At zuhr our Arab servants untied our camel from the caravan. We got down, did vuzu, prayed zuhr, and then remounted. They hustled the camel back to the caravan. Abd ur-Rahman said, “Sarkar, we are nearing the Haram now. You both should start to recite labbaik from here on.”7 We did as he advised and began to recite. The caravan entered the city of Mecca at asr. The people of Mecca may have had their fill of the sight of the House of God [the Kaaba], but those of us who thirst for a glimpse of it, we are full of passion, restless to lay eyes on it. I want nothing more than to go directly to the Haram, to see the House of God—the place to which I, by God’s grace, have made this difficult, long journey—and press my eyes to it.

My God’s Home

We were both ebullient as we went to our lodgings.8 We immediately renewed our vuzu, put the servants in charge of our luggage, and rushed to the Haram with a tingling sense of anticipation. I cannot describe how my heart felt. I repeated, “Labbaik,” over and over. My tears flowed freely. Soon I saw the entrance to the Haram before me.9 How can I describe its celestial majesty? We rushed forward, increasing our pace with rising excitement until we reached it and kissed its doors. The Haram was there, immediately before us. At the Bab us-Salam our heads lowered in prostration. How enchanting is my God’s house! Allahu akbar! Allahu akbar! Allahu akbar! How glorious is our God, who has honored us with the sight of this most pure, most blessed house. I fell to the ground in prostration spontaneously. My happiness and passion were indescribable. I prayed profusely for the entire Muslim community, for my parents, my friends and companions, for my children. I didn’t want to raise my head from my prostration. I felt indescribable tranquility. My heart was entirely at peace. I was enveloped in a kind of happiness I had never felt before. I only raised my head again with the greatest difficulty. I opened my eyes and gazed upon the gloriousness of [God’s] oneness. This was not just a house. It was God’s light itself (fig. 6.2). Al-azmat lillah!10

Tawaf at the Kaaba

The muallim said, “Come, now perform the tawaf.” I stood up, still lost in my passion. I included the names of my parents in every prayer the muallim had me recite. Ruhi fidak, ya Rasulullah.11 All of this has been made possible through you, through your intercession, by which we have had the good fortune to come here.

We began the tawaf. Ah! This is where the sky itself lowers down. This is where the holy land kissed the feet of Ruhi Fidak, the Master of the Two Worlds [the Prophet]. Some of the greatest prophets and saints once walked here. My happiness was ineffable. Again and again, I read: “O God! Accept us. We have come here at your command. You have honored us in every way. You are the Great Creator. All creation rests in the palm of your power. We are reliant on You at every moment. The heart that You placed inside me is here for You. Good or bad, we are Your servants. God, forgive us, through the intercession of Ruhi Fidak, the Prophet.” My heart would under no circumstances agree to leave this place. The time for maghrib ended, and then it was time for isha. Soon we heard the azan—Allahu akbar!—and rose to pray.

Tears of Happiness

Near the Haram there is a place called the Hatim.12 I prayed isha there and then raised my eyes to gaze upon that pure house [the Kaaba]. Then, in a state of hopefulness, I picked up its covering and wrapped it around me and then sat down, pressing myself against the Kaaba. I cried ceaselessly. Tears of happiness, excitement, and love rolled freely down my cheeks. Eventually I looked up again and saw that the moon had risen. The moon sacrifices itself for this pure house and bends down to kiss it. The view around me was even more enchanting in the moonlight.

Safa and Marwa

The muallim said, “Now you should run between Safa and Marwa.” We went to this holy place, but there was a market there. This holy place is outside the Haram. There is a marker on one side [indicating Safa] and another at the further side [indicating Marwa]. One should read prayers as they walk briskly between the markers. This act is called “running Safa and Marwa.” It seems to be about half a mile between the two signs. There are shops on either side of the course. It is run seven times. God on high had us perform this component [of the hajj] in a beautiful way. Then we went back to the Haram. We made several nafl prayers and then went to the Zamzam [well] to drink its water.13 As I looked around in every direction, my heart swelled with elation.

We left the Haram. The muallim had us remove our ihram. We returned to our lodgings at ten in the evening, asked for food, ate, and slept.

Back to the Kaaba

December 20, 1909: We woke up at 4:00 a.m., still ebullient. We did vuzu and went to the Kaaba (fig. 6.2). We went through the Bab us-Salaam, and I went and sat in the Hatim. Nawab sahib joined the group prayers. We prayed fajr according to the Shafii timing, which was happening just then, and then began to circle the Kaaba. We kissed the Black Stone from afar.14 The crowds were so great that it was difficult to reach it, particularly for weaker people like us. Still, I firmly believe that one day God will make it possible for us to approach it and kiss it.

Soon daylight began to appear, and the Hanafi call to prayer began. Its sound awaked a sense of God’s greatness in our hearts. After the prayer concluded, we resumed our tawaf and then ran between Safa and Marwa again before returning to our lodging. We had breakfast, did vuzu, and returned to the Haram. Here I learned that because it is now the eighth day of [the month of Zil-] Hajj we will leave for Mina today. The camel and shaghdaf are ready. Mahmud Ahmad, Sarbuland Jung’s nephew, who had left Bombay on another ship, arrived in Mecca two days before us, traveling directly here via Jeddah. He is now staying with us.

Departure for Mina

We three left the house. The caravan was ready. We are also traveling with Halimullah’s wetnurse;15 Khuda Bakhsh; my servant Amina bi; Mahmud Ali, the steward; and our two servants.16 They brought out everything we would need. We gave the servants one camel and one donkey. Khuda Bakhsh wanted to walk. Sarkar selected a very nice donkey for himself. Mahmud Ahmad rode in the shaghdaf. And thus, by God’s grace, we all set off for Mina. We enjoyed the views as we went and arrived just at zuhr. Nawab sahib did vuzu and went straight to the large mosque. I joined him.

The khedive of Egypt is also on hajj. His being there has complicated matters, and there are extra arrangements being made to accommodate his presence. It was not easy for regular people to get permission from the Egyptian guards to enter the mosque, but, al-hamdulillah, we all got in. By chance, we found a space to pray near the khedive himself. We prayed with the congregation. After prayers I looked around and realized that I was the only woman there. The other women were somewhere else. After prayers Nawab sahib took me to my tent and said, “Maybe women don’t come to this mosque. There was no woman there for prayers beside you.”

“Very well,” I replied, “I’ll pray asr, maghrib, and isha in the tent. You go back to the mosque. My tent is very comfortable.”

Nawab sahib returned to the mosque for asr. There is a wonderful arrangement here—namely, that at every prayer time the khedive’s men fire their guns. I prayed asr in the tent. Then I went outside, only to see huge crowds and tents spread out in every direction for miles, as though I were in a large city. Every imaginable item from around the world is available for sale here; excellent foodstuffs are also available. All these items are imbued with God’s glory. I took it all in for a while, feeling happy, and then went to my tent to busy myself in the remembrance of God. Readers [of this diary], please pray that God accepts my efforts, that they bear fruit, and that God have mercy on me.

Today is the ninth night of the month [of Zi al-Hijja]. In the morning we go to Arafat. I have heard that after completing the five daily prayers in Mina, after fajr, then you should set out for Arafat, but the crowds here are so great we cannot all go at once. For this reason, people begin to depart at midnight. Nawab sahib said, “You should also take Mahmud Ahmad and depart for Mount Arafat with our things at 2:00 a.m. Don’t wait for the morning prayer. The crowds are too great, and you may be delayed. You should reach there in time to hear the sermon.” I agreed but replied, “I prefer to leave at 3:30 because the Shafii prayer begins at 4:00. My camel will surely still be within the bounds of Mina for the first thirty minutes of the journey. I can pray fajr on the camel itself. That way, I will have made my fifth prayer at Mina.” We both agreed on this plan. Nawab sahib said, “I will go to the mosque at 3:00 and go straight to Arafat from there. Don’t worry, an Arab servant will be with me. I will surely reach you in time, inshallah.”

Departure for Arafat

On this evening I stayed awake until three at night in the most blissful state in the remembrance of God most glorious. The caravans began to leave. We decamped at precisely 3:30 a.m. Mahmud Ahmad and I shared the shaghdaf. The moon was setting, and we were waiting to pray fajr at four, fearful that we would exit Mina before then. Then, what do you know, it was four, and we both prayed while imagining the Kaaba before us.17 Thankfully, I completed all five prayers at Mina itself. This was granted to me by God through the intercession of the Prophet. Now that I have seen the Kaaba, I have access to the simple expedient that any time I am traveling and cannot face it in prayer, I can imagine it before me instead. I see it in front of me the moment I close my eyes. God, grant this vision to every Muslim and every lover of the Prophet and his family! Amen.

After the fajr prayer, what did I see but clouds beginning to form in the sky. There was lightning too. This made me fearful, for I had not forgotten our last drenching. I prayed to God, asking him not to let it rain. I’ve enjoyed that enough, and it is the cold season. After praying I opened my umbrella inside the shaghdaf, just in case. Mahmud Ahmad laughed merrily at this and said, “Why is Mammani Jan [my dear aunt] opening an umbrella inside a shaghdaf?! It has a roof, after all.” I replied, “Let me be, sir. We’ve already enjoyed one good soaking in this covered shaghdaf as it is. As they say, ‘One burned by hot milk even blows on buttermilk.’”

We were still worrying about the rain when we heard the boom of guns being fired. We heard that this must be people firing in celebration, but Abd ur-Rahman realized that these were Bedouins who were molesting the caravan under the cover of darkness. He fired his own gun to scare them off. I was frightened. Why had the Bedouins come? Have they come to loot? We heard someone cry out, “A Bedouin has made off with one of the travelers’ bundles!” This commotion continued until we finally reached the limits of Arafat safe and sound. Our tent was pitched near where the caravan from our nizam’s city makes its camp, and where the yellow flag [of Hyderabad] was flying. When our tent was ready, I sat to rest until Nawab sahib arrived, safe and sound. Al-hamdulillah. He immediately took a bath. I wanted one too but found no opportunity to do so. At Arafat you are required to eat your meal before the sun reaches its zenith. We ate, as did the servants and Mahmud Ahmad. Afterward everyone did their vuzu and we busied ourselves with our tasbihs and tahlils.

The Day of Arafa

December 22, 1909 / 9 Zi al-Hijja: Today is the Day of Arafa. Nawab sahib, Mahmud Ahmad, and the servants went to the mosque for the sermon. Just one Arab servant stayed back with me. I learned that women do not go to the mosque here. They only go up to a certain point on Arafat and pray etc. By God’s order, I too went to that blessed place with my muallim. Allahu akbar, this is the place where Adam and Eve were reunited. After a period of separation, God brought them together here. This mountain has been known as Arafat ever since; arafa means “to meet.” This is a very powerful place for the acceptance of one’s prayers. Prayers made here are immediately answered. I performed two rakats here and made many prayers. Then I spent a happy hour repenting for my sins. I finally rose to depart from this blessed place with unwilling feet; my heart did not want to leave. God! By the intercession of the Prophet and his family, forgive me, Nawab sahib, my parents, my children, all my near and dear ones, and every believer, male and female, and lead us down the straight path. Amen, amen.

As I returned, I saw what seemed like a vast city of people engrossed with all their hearts in the worship and praise of the Pure Protector, though some less fortunate souls were busy cooking, eating, arguing, and fighting (fig. 6.3).

The ideal course of action is to eat before the sun begins its descent and then to eat nothing more until you reach Muzdalifa. In any case, I returned to my tent. The muallim said, “We should leave here before maghrib. There is a place called Muzdalifa. We will go there and pray maghrib and isha together. We will stay the night there.”

“All right,” I replied.

At three in the morning, Sarkar sent me word that I should continue with the caravan according to my own preference and that he would go directly to the mosque at Muzdalifa on his donkey. “Once you’ve arrived and had the tent set up, send the Arab servant to the mosque to find me. I will come back with him and rejoin you. Otherwise, it will be hard to find out where you have pitched the tent.” I replied to say that this was a good plan.

I prayed zuhr and asr together and then thought to myself that I should go out and see what God’s people are doing now. I went to the opening of the tent and looked out. What I saw made me realize: What do your actions matter to the Wantless God, tens of millions of whose servants are bowing down before him in prostration? You are too base to perform such worship. What will be your fate on the Day of Judgment? You are weak and no match for such good people. As I thought these things, tears began to flow from my eyes. I cried and cried until I was beside myself. I prayed. O Wantless God! By the intercession of the Prophet, by the sanctity of Mount Arafat, and that of your true followers, forgive this sinful one.

Departure for Muzdalifa

As the day slowly shrunk, and as more time passed, I thought to myself that this day was so blessed, and yet it was passing by so quickly. Ah! All that comes into the world must also leave it. This day ended too.18

The caravan was assembled before maghrib. I got ready. The tent was struck. The shaghdaf came, and I climbed in. Mahmud Ahmad rode with me. “God! I’m so sick of this shaghdaf. Please grant me some easier mode of transportation.” After making this prayer I set off with the caravan just before maghrib. A few travelers’ camels collapsed and their shaghdafs fell off, but they were all right. No one sustained any injuries.

The caravan arrived at Muzdalifa at isha. The moon had already risen. Everyone got down and removed their shaghdafs from the camels. Ah! Ah! Ah! Beauty was bursting everywhere. Nawab sahib had gone directly from Arafat to the mosque alongside the khedive and others.

I noted that no one was putting up their tents here. It was explained to me that people sleep in their shaghdafs here so that the tents can be sent ahead to Mina and assembled there before our arrival the following morning. Anyhow, after settling in I asked the Arab servant Abd ur-Rahman to go to the mosque and bring Nawab sahib back with him. “Take some food with you just in case he needs to stay late. If so, he can eat there.” Then Mahmud Ahmad, the servants, and I all ate. I did vuzu and then spread my prayer rug behind the shaghdaf and made my prayers there. I presented my enfeebled state before my most merciful Provider. I was so very happy at this moment. Thankfully, my heart never forgot my parents at any significant point in this journey. I prayed for them first in every instance and only then for others.

When Nawab sahib came, he said to the muallim, “Good sir, where is my tent?” He then learned that “by custom, the tent has been sent ahead.” It was very cold on the plain, so Nawab sahib said, “If there is any leftover tent, please pitch it because it is very cold. It is all right if not.” The muallim went to investigate and found a tent that had been overlooked and left behind. This too is a sign of God’s greatness that this wish of ours was granted. The tent was pitched. We went inside and busied ourselves in repentance, seeking forgiveness, reciting [the pious phrases] la ilaha ila Allah and subhan Allah. We fell asleep around midnight.

Al-hamdulillah. On the morning of December 23, we got up, prayed fajr, got dressed, and went outside. The caravan was ready. People were busy selecting pebbles. We were told that pebbles should be collected at Muzdalifa and taken to Mina to throw at Satan.19 Nawab sahib and I both selected our pebbles, and then we set off. We traveled alongside the khedive’s bodyguard and army. They formed a grand procession. Abd ur-Rahman led my camel away from the caravan and toward the procession so that I could watch it as we went. Mahmud Ahmad was on the camel with me. Nawab sahib is on the donkey. Guns are being fired because today is Eid ul-Adha. All of God’s servants are wearing ihrams, even the soldiers. They look so very fine in their ihrams.

Entering Mina

We arrived in Mina at eight in the morning in high spirits, reciting labbaik and praising God all the way. I entered the tent. I was told that after the sacrifice, we should throw seven pebbles at the big Satan and then remove our ihrams. We will stay here until the twelfth [of the Islamic month of Zi al-Hijja], and every day we will have to stone the three Satans. On the twelfth we will throw our last pebbles and then leave for Mecca to do tawaf and run Safa and Marwa. I also learned that “on this day, if, after the sacrifice, one goes back to Mecca, circumambulates the Kaaba, and runs Safa and Marwa, they will earn great merit. However, they must return to Mina in time for the maghrib prayer. Staying in Mina for three days is a mandatory component of the hajj.”

The Pull of the Kaaba

I prayed to my God, “O Lord, give me now the courage to do exactly this.” After resolving to do it, I told Nawab sahib, “If you allow it, after praying and stoning Satan, I will go straight to the Kaaba, do the tawaf, and run between Safa and Marwa, and then return to Mina before maghrib.”

He responded, “The Bedouins have taken all the camels away, and they will not return until the twelfth. How will you go? You could take my donkey, I suppose.”

When I heard this, I became very happy. “That is wonderful,” I replied. “If you give the command, I will go on your donkey. Abd ur-Rahman will accompany me, and if he wants, Mahmud Ahmad can too.”

He gave his permission, and, at noon, after finishing all my tasks, I set out for the Haram. Abd ur-Rahman and Mahmud Ahmad walked alongside me. The donkey moved swiftly, and we reached the Haram an hour later. We immediately prayed zuhr, circled that pure house [the Kaaba], and ran between the Safa and Marwa. When I had finished with all this, I saw that the khedive of Egypt and his procession had entered the Haram Sharif too. I stood to the side of the haram and thought to myself: “Oh merciful, all-forgiving One! I rushed here excitedly because I believed that I would now be able to kiss the Black Stone while everyone is at Mina. I thought I would have it all to myself. Such is your glory that hundreds of your servants have come here to do the same thing. Today is Eid. Let my lips touch the Black Stone; after that do with me as you will.

If you grant my wish, how wonderful; If you do not, I have no complaint My head is bowed in submission, I accept my lover’s every whim20

An Angel from Heaven

This weak soul then thought: God! With the khedive of Egypt here, kissing the stone will be even more difficult. But then the seas of his mercy began to surge. A siddi of the African race wearing a turban suddenly came up to me and asked me the most wonderful question: “O my lady, do you want a kiss?”21 I replied instantly, “Yes, sir, I do.”22 He immediately took my hand and pulled me into that massive crowd, protecting me as we went. It all became so easy. It was as though I were being carried along. Then, suddenly, he took my head in his hands and lowered it down to the stone. Then he stood over me, shielding me with his arms so that I would not be crushed. I kissed the stone again and again. Then he delivered me out from the crowd again. “Walk just behind me,” he said. He spoke Arabic, but I understood him. He led me near to the khatib [area] and said, “Raise your hands [in prayer].” He made a lengthy prayer for my parents and me before handing me a piece of cloth from the covering of the Kaaba and a tasbih made of agate. I offered him two rupees, but he would not accept them. Instead, he rubbed his hands on my back and said, “Warm the soul. . . .23 Now go.”

I left the Haram Sharif, now very happy, and asked my servant to call for Mahmud Ahmad so that we could return to Mina on time. “The khedive is also returning now, so we won’t be alone on the path.” Abd ur-Rahman humbly replied, “If you would be kind enough to stop by my home for a short while, I will prepare a meal for you.”

I replied, “Brother, we will be late.”

“No, you will arrive in time.”

Since he insisted, I accepted the invitation and went with him. His wife was already waiting for me. She excitedly welcomed me to her home and invited me to join her upstairs. There were a few other ladies as well. None of them could understand me. Abd ur-Rahman translated everything for them, and I also spoke [in Arabic] a bit. They served me excellent tea and gave me some fruit. Then I left. Mahmud Ahmad was just arriving. “I’m done now too,” he said. “Let’s go quickly now.”

I got back on the donkey and left. The khedive was also just returning. It felt like we were returning together. There were huge crowds of people, but the path the khedive of Egypt took was a little less crowded, so I led my donkey in the same direction. The khedive and the sharif [of Mecca] rode ahead on horses while I followed along. I got a good look at the khedive. He is not old but actually quite a young man. He was moving slowly with his entire staff. I took it all in as we went.

Mahmud Ahmad was on one side of me, Abd ur-Rahman on the other. The latter started telling me his story. “I was with the raja of Nanpara when he came to Mecca. He stayed for eight months.” Then he mentioned my father in Lucknow and said that he had supported him as a witness.24 I stayed quiet as I listened. I didn’t reveal the secret that I also had a connection to this story. I did not tell him because I had heard that if the Bedouin find out that you are rich or a nawab, then they will rob you. Even the Begum of Bhopal was nearly looted herself when she came for hajj.25 The khedive is clever; he travels sometimes by motorcar, sometimes with his army. You can spend freely for godly causes all you like, but if you are discovered to be a nawab or a begum, you’ll be looted. So I stayed quiet and listened to his story all the way to Mina. We arrived at the tent just in time for the prayer. They told me that Nawab sahib had gone to the mosque. I prayed maghrib in the tent and thanked God profusely.

By then I was exhausted. I lay down and had [a servant] give me a vigorous oil massage on my legs and back because I was so sore. Then I prayed isha. Nawab sahib returned with Mahmud Ahmad. We ate. Mahmud Ahmad made very good tea. Then we all went to bed.

Showering Stones on Satan

December 24, 1909: We woke up in the morning as usual and prayed fajr. We had breakfast and prayed zuhr early. Then we went to stone the Satans. Oho! There were hundreds of thousands of people here, all of them stoning Satan. Abd ur-Rahman and Sidi, our two servants, slowly pushed our way through the crowds until we were close to the Satan. I took careful aim and threw seven stones at each of the Satans before returning to the tent. Al-hamdulillah, I spent the rest of the day in remembrance of him. Nawab sahib said, “Today it is my turn to go to Mecca and perform the tawaf and run between Safa and Marwa.” He left and came back right at maghrib. Then it was evening, and after eating and praying isha, we went to sleep.

In Mecca

December 25: Today the caravan will leave for Mecca after the stoning and the zuhr prayer, because the stones are thrown at the Satans after zuhr. We all had breakfast. Nawab said, “I am going to the mosque. Please do not wait for me. After you have prayed zuhr, throw your stones right away and then get into your shaghdaf with Mahmud Ahmad and set off. I’ll come on the donkey.”

“Very well,” I replied.

I threw the stones after zuhr, and we set off. The caravan was very large and moved slowly. We reached Mecca only after asr. It was a challenge to go all the way home directly, so I got down [from the shaghdaf] some distance away and walked the rest. Nawab sahib arrived too. I took a moment to collect myself. Then I did vuzu, ate something, and left for the Haram Sharif. I did tawaf, ran the hills, and prayed maghrib and isha. Then I went home. Everyone had dinner. Mahmud Ahmad made tea and served it himself. We then went to sleep.

December 26, 1909: After fajr I had breakfast. Nawab sahib went out. I was also planning to go and see the city of Mecca. I took the muallim’s wife with me and headed to the city. I saw the shops and such and bought a few things. We returned home for lunch. After eating we all did vuzu and went to the Haram Sharif for zuhr prayers. Then I returned home, where I prayed asr. I went back to the Haram Sharif again for maghrib and isha. After a tawaf I returned home, ate, and slept. We both went to the Haram Sharif at 1:00 a.m., where we joined God’s servants in the tawaf. I kissed the Black Stone from afar, and then, after praying the morning prayer, I returned home to sleep.

December 27, 1909: I woke up at eight in the morning. I washed my face and did vuzu. After breakfast Nawab sahib said, “Let’s perform an umrah today. To perform the umrah, we will need to go to a mosque that’s far from here.26 Once we are there, we will put on an ihram. We will then return, do a tawaf, run Safa and Marwa, and remove the ihram again.” I said, “All right, let’s go, but I will ride on a donkey. I’m afraid of the camels.”

Nawab sahib called for two donkeys. We had food, got ready, and went outside. It was nine in the morning, and the donkeys had arrived. When I examined them, though, I realized that their reins were not like those on our previous donkey. There was just a rope tied around their neck. Riding in this way frightened me. I was worried I might fall. I refused. “Bring me a donkey with proper reins, or I will walk.”

Our muallim, Siraj, said, “You should take a carriage.” I was very happy to hear the word “carriage.”

I asked, “Are there really carriages here? If so, I will certainly take one.” I then began walking with Nawab sahib, and soon enough Siraj returned with a carriage.

This carriage is a strange sort of vehicle. It has two wheels and is shaped like a trunk. The rental costs six rupees. We got into it and set off. We were joined inside the carriage by one of the muallim’s representatives, who provided guidance [for the pilgrimage] and who had come in his place. Our servant Khuda Bakhsh walked. I told the driver, “Brother, have Khuda Bakhsh sit in your place occasionally, and you walk beside us while holding the reins. Then you can switch places once again. In this way you can both take turns walking.” I proposed this because the carriage looked quite rickety to me and because I had noticed that the driver would sometimes get out of the carriage while holding the horse’s reins. He agreed to my proposal.

The cart driver drove the cart in a way that was beyond my comprehension. Although there was a clean, straight, smooth road already available, he led the cart up onto uneven, hilly, and rocky roads. He never stopped, whether there were potholes, water, or dust storms. There was no “coach box,” so sometimes he would sit directly on the horse, or Khuda Bakhsh would. They took turns, but the horse itself was very small. The poor thing. First, it was attached to a carriage. Second, there was someone riding him. Third, it was being beaten constantly. Fourth, it was being made to climb up and down the roads, jostled about the entire time. I was vexed to see how this carriage was being driven. If it toppled over, there was just a small door to escape from. It would be difficult to get out. I was petrified all the way to our destination, which, al-hamdulillah, we reached safely.

When we entered the mosque, we saw that many people had come there to begin an umrah. In front of the mosque there was a large stepwell with a staircase. Everyone was doing vuzu there. We did ours and prayed two rakats. We put on our ihram. Everyone left one by one. We also departed, riding in the same carriage as before. This vehicle is called an arabiya. Now the driver drove the horse even harder than before and ignored us when we protested. Even worse, he told Khuda Bakhsh to sit on the horse and then climbed up behind Khuda Bakhsh himself. Now the horse had two riders, and it tried to flee. We had hardly covered a quarter of the total distance when the cart fell over and broke a wheel. Al-hamdulillah, no one was hurt, not even the horse. Now the question was how we were going to continue, as the distance was still great. The sun was very intense. The driver said, “I will go right now and get another horse cart; just wait here.” Then he hopped on a pony and fled the scene. We waited for a while, and then I said, “Well, I’m going to just walk until he returns. At least I can cover some of the distance.” I set off. Nawab sahib, the muallim, and Khuda Bakhsh came with me. There was a coffee shop along the way. Sarkar said, “The sun is very strong, and we are wearing ihrams. I cannot continue walking in this way with my head uncovered. We only have one umbrella, and only one of us can use it at a time. I will continue when the cart comes or if we can find a donkey.”

“Very well, you ride a donkey. I’m going to walk because the donkeys here don’t have reins.”

I began to walk. Khuda Bakhsh came with me. I opened the umbrella because the sun was very strong. Slowly but surely, that blessed place began to come into view and my heart grew increasingly joyous. Everything here gives the heart a sense of tranquility and contentment. You feel peace and pleasure. It is a mark of God’s glory that the fatigue and vexation I feel disappears the moment I place my hands on the covering of that pure house [the Kaaba]. God! Please allow my children, my parents, and all Muslims everywhere to come here quickly and visit all these places. Amen, amen. And please forgive me, in the name of the Holy Places.

I made these prayers as I walked. There were many donkeys on the path, but none of them were available for rent. After I had gone a long way, I heard an Arab cry out, “Transport, transport!”27 I stopped him and said [in Arabic], “Me the husband in coffee-khana. It want transport. You go from here. After it, pocket [come]. It coffee-khana by umrah mosque.”28 I tried my best to explain my intention to him in Arabic using the words I had picked up from other Arabs during the journey. Once he understood me, he said, “You go little, you look, you me go in transport.”29 What I had said was, “My husband is at the coffee shop that is by the umrah mosque. He needs transportation. You please go and collect him.” And he had replied, “All right, you come with me on the donkey and inform him yourself.”

I then said, “No, I wait here and you your pocket,” meaning that I would stay in this place until he came back.30 He left immediately. I saw a coffee shop, so I took a seat and paid two hilhils for a cup of coffee. Then what do I see but Nawab sahib coming down the road on foot. The transport had not found him. We decided to catch our breath before continuing, when suddenly the original cart driver appeared with a new cart. I said, “I’m done with this cart. I’m already close to the Haram Sharif anyhow.” Sarkar insisted, though. “No, no, please sit. He will be glad if you do.” I got inside as before, and the driver began to push the horse as relentlessly as earlier. In the end, we made it to our destination, al-hamdulillah, and emerged from the cart unscathed. We entered the Haram and prayed two rakats on entering the mosque before our tawaf.

After the tawaf Sarkar said, “I’m getting hungry. I will go home to eat before running Safa and Marwa. Then I’ll remove my ihram. You come too. You haven’t had anything since breakfast and its already two thirty.”

“You go ahead and eat,” I replied. “I will run Safa and Marwa first and then remove my ihram and come back so that I can be comfortable and have a relaxed meal.”

Then Nawab sahib went to our accommodations while I went to run the hills and complete this requirement. Then I headed home. On the way I bought a melon and carried it with me. When I arrived, I learned that Nawab sahib had just left for Safa and Marwa.

Then a representative of the muallim, a youngish man, came and opened my ihram. He cut my hair, made a prayer, and left again.31 Much contented now, I washed up and ate some melon. I was happy. Then I had food and napped until asr. I woke up and did vuzu. I was told that “the asr prayer has already finished at the Haram,” so I prayed at home. A while later I went to the Haram. The azan began when I entered. Allahu akbar! Aha! What a beautiful, enchanting, soothing sound! The prayer began right then. I stayed there until isha. I did the tawaf, and then we both went home. We ate and went to sleep but awoke and returned to the Haram at two in the morning. Allah! Allah! Even at this hour, there were still hundreds of people doing the tawaf. The tawaf continues day and night. It is such a wondrous thing. Do these people not sleep at all? The Haram is always full, a testament to God’s glory. We did tawaf and then went to recite God’s name in the Hatim. I placed the covering of the Kaaba over my head and knelt in prostration before the Provider, revealing to him my wretched state.32 The peace, tranquility, and happiness I felt here is beyond description. I remained this way until it was the Shafii time for prayer. The cry of “Allahu akbar” reached my ears, and we both then prayed fajr according to the Shafii timing. Afterward, I sat and clung to the covering [of the Kaaba] until the sun came up. Then we returned home and rested for a while.

Visiting the Prophet’s Place of Worship

December 28, 1909: We had breakfast at seven. Nawab sahib said, “Let’s go pray a fatiha at the Jannat ul-Mala.” “I’m ready, let’s go,” I replied. Once we were both ready, we left and strolled at a leisurely pace. First we had to climb the jabl, or hill. This place is very high, like a mountain. We climbed it. There is a mosque at the top which is said to be where the Sultan of the Two Worlds, the Beloved Prophet, used to worship. In addition to the mosque, there is also a place on the jabl where the Lord of the Two Worlds is said to have received messages directly from God.33 We performed two rakats and said prayers in both of these places. We prayed that God would allow all Muslims to make a pilgrimage to this place once in their lives. I collected a few stones here as a keepsake. Then we descended the mountain via another route from the one we had ascended. There are a few houses and settlements here but not many. The place is so high that you can see the entire Kaaba and the city below. We easily descended and went straight to the Haram for zuhr. The azan sounded just as we arrived. We prayed and then returned home.

After lunch Nawab sahib said, “I need to go and meet Maulana Abd ul-Haqq to obtain an ijazat for Dala’il al-Khairat. I will go to him directly from here. Let’s postpone the visit to the Jannat ul-Mala until tomorrow, inshallah.34 We don’t have much time left [here].” I agreed.

I prayed asr at home and chatted with the muallim’s wives in Arabic. I prayed maghrib and isha in the Haram, came home, had food, and went to sleep. As usual, I spent half the night at home and half in the Haram Sharif.

Pilgrimage to the Jannat ul-Mala35

December 29, 1909: I had breakfast, did vuzu, and got ready to go. Sarkar said, “Let’s perform the remaining visitations today.” I agreed, and we went out, walking slowly on the holy ground of Mecca. It gave me a strange sensation to realize that this was the very ground that our most Beloved Prophet had once trod. We walked until we arrived at the Jannat ul-Mala, which contains the graves of many saints and great men of the faith. We prayed fatihas over them all.

The Prophet’s Birthplace

Then we visited the birthplace of our Beloved Prophet. We passionately pressed our eyes to this special place, kissed it, and prayed two rakats. Then we went to the Mosque of the Jinn, where we have heard that the Master of the Universe taught the Qur’an to the djinns. We prayed two rakats here too. Then we went to the blessed place where the Prophet of God once lived and where the Lady of Heaven, Bibi Fatima uz-Zahra the Pure, was born. Ah, this is a place worth seeing! We both prayed two rakats. While we were in the house, a kind individual showed us another place. He said, “This is the very place where the Prophet would prostrate in prayer.” Overcome with longing and devotion, we kissed this place and made our own repeated prostrations there, one after the other. Mashallah! How greatly has God blessed us to have been able to prostrate in the very place where the Lord of the Universe, the Master of the Two Worlds, once did! May the Prophet, through God, raise us up and raise up all Muslims. Then we went to a beri [jujube] tree that is said to have been here since that era. It still bears small fruits and is fruiting even now. I looked at it and all around it in astonishment. Before leaving, I collected a few jujube fruits.

We then went to the place where they say that Hazrat Ali ibn Abi Talib was born.36 (Although this is completely false. The Commander of the Faithful was born inside the Kaaba, as is clearly demonstrated in books using both Shia and Sunni sources.)37 We prayed a fatiha and two rakats here. After finishing our visits to all these places, we returned to the Haram because it was nearly zuhr. We arrived just as the azan began. We all prayed. After the prayer Nawab Sarbuland Jung Bahadur said, “I will go and meet Maulana Abd ul-Haqq directly instead of going home for lunch. I have some business there. You head home.” I went back, ate, and rested for a while. Nawab sahib came home and ate. Then we both did vuzu and went to the Haram for asr. After the prayer we stayed in the Haram, gazing at the Kaaba and listening to the conversations of the people around us. There was such a wonderful atmosphere there. Then it was time for maghrib, and everyone stood. Al-hamdulillah, we prayed and did tawaf. Today I performed one tawaf each for my parents and then prayed isha.

God’s Kindness toward His Servants

I forgot to write that when we had finished praying maghrib, it suddenly began to rain. Everyone rushed to drink the rainwater falling from the roof of the Kaaba. The place the water falls from is called the mizab-e rahmat.38 My heart began to thirst for that water, but I thought to myself, “How will I manage to drink it when there is such a crowd?” I raised my hands and prayed, “O God! Please give me this water to drink. I cannot manage it myself.” Just as I finished my prayer, a boy came running toward me with a cloth soaked in this water. “O mother! Do you want this water?”39

“Yes,” I said, gushing with joy, “I want water.”40

He wrung some water out of the cloth into my open palms, and I drank it. My heart lit up. I was overjoyed. Just see how quickly God has answered my prayers. Such is God’s glory!

After the tawaf we went home, ate, and slept.

Milad Sharif in the Haram

December 30, 1909: In the morning we prayed, washed up, and ate. “Today is Friday,” Nawab sahib said. “I’ve arranged for the Maulud Sharif to be read in the Haram today. There will be sweets and such and cooked food, like last time. Everyone who participates in the Milad Sharif will be fed. The cooks have all arrived, and everything is arranged perfectly.”

The food and sweets were prepared by eleven. After praying a fatiha, the food was loaded onto trays and sent out to be distributed. Some was given to mendicants and the poor. We brought the sweets, which weighed about two man, with us to the Haram.41 The Maulud Sharif was held after the Friday prayer. Al-hamdulillah, it was all done very well. Many people attended, and the sweets were all distributed. When we went home, we also fed the people who went there with us. All of us ate very well too. The food was delicious, peerless. The cooks and chefs were given one pound for their work. A few Arab ladies approached me. I gave them a meal and some sweets. One of these women gave me an Arab outfit she had sewn for Qudsiya.42 I thanked her and gave her five rupees. We were still at home at maghrib. I took my leave from the ladies, and they left. I quickly got ready and went to the Haram to pray maghrib and isha. I did tawaf before going home. Everyone ate and then went to sleep.

Today is December 31, and, sadly, due to certain circumstances, I was unable to go to the Haram today.43 Nawab sahib went himself while I spent the day getting ready and packing our things, for the time of our departure is near. Ah! How sorrowful it is that this beautiful era has come to an end so quickly. I spent the day reflecting on this. Nawab sahib bahadur came home in the evening. We all ate and then slept.

January 1, 1910

I spent the day at home again. Sarbuland Jung bahadur went out after eating. Some Arab women came to ask me for alms. I gave each of them something from what God has provided me. I thought that today would be a good day to go to the bazaar to buy some gifts, and so I went out, taking the muallim’s wife with me. Christians sell goods at some of the shops here, [but] I went specifically to shops owned by Arabs and bought some Arab-style clothing for the children.44 I bought some scarves for Nawab sahib and some gifts for my siblings. The bazaars here are covered. When I had finished, we went home. Nawab sahib said, “We will leave the day after tomorrow, on January third. Please prepare.” This news unsettled my heart. How can our pilgrimage to this place have ended so soon? In any case, the day passed, and at night, we slept.

Separation from the Land of the Beloved

January 2, 1910: I spent the day meeting with various people. Nawab sahib went to the Haram and spent most of the day meeting with people as well. Then it was night. I spent the night sitting and gazing at the Haram. Ah! What thoughts passed through my mind! It was such a sad thing that, due to various reasons, I could not go present myself at the Haram.

Right now it is seven in the morning on the third of January. We are all ready. The camels have come. We parted from Khuda Bakhsh and Mahmud Ahmad here because they will go to Medina. We have brought the servant Mahmud Ali with us. From among the women, we are bringing Amina bi and Halimullah’s nurse with us. It is a pity that, for various reasons that have arisen, the servant Mahmud Ali and Halimullah’s nurse are unable to visit Medina. Amina bi has already been there with me. At any rate, our things were loaded up. The servants took their seats, but I wanted to walk, at least for a while. This is the street of my beloved. The more I honor it, the better.

The caravan appears to be immense. Sadly, many people are returning directly to India without visiting Medina because they cannot afford to pay for the journey. Nawab sahib and I walked to the entrance of the Haram. He went inside while I prostrated myself outside the entrance of this sacred space before reluctantly parting from it. For a while some of the people we had met during our time here walked alongside us. Eventually, though, our shaghdaf emerged from the narrow streets safely. We both sat inside, and all of our friends returned home. And then, alas, the Land of the Beloved slowly but surely slipped from view. How could this happen, after all we have seen?

We had a pitcher of Zamzam water with us. Drinking from it steadied our tumultuous hearts. Nawab sahib’s eyes glistened with tears. While we were sorrowful, we were also overjoyed that God had, in his great mercy, brought us to his door. This is no small honor. We hope that that Pure Being, our Provider, will grant us further mercy still and summon us to come here again, accompanied by our parents and children, with honor, prosperity, wealth, and health. We set off with this wish firmly lodged in our hearts. We continued until night began to fall. The caravan pressed forward without lighting any lamps. There was no moon, and the night was getting darker. Still, these Bedouins continued confidently on into the night, until there was nothing but darkness. The caravan stopped when we reached Bahra. We dismounted and went to sleep in the huts. We passed the night there just as before.

January 4: We woke up at five and had the baggage loaded back onto the camels. I don’t feel well. I didn’t digest yesterday’s food properly, and I have developed a temperature. My entire body is aching. Still, I set off. Eventually the day broke. Suddenly, there was a sandstorm the likes of which I have never heard nor seen before. The sand dunes were completely blown away, only to form again elsewhere. The grains of sand flew like arrows. The sky and the hills were blotted out, and sand filled my hair and pushed its way into my eyes and throat. Despite the intensity of the storm, the caravan lumbered on. The Bedouin did not stop. Camels often die on the way. When one does, they just leave it where it falls. The storm continued for another five hours and only began to relent as we neared Jeddah. Al-hamdulillah, we finally reached our destination. It was 2:30, time for zuhr.

Sarkar got down [from the camel] the moment we reached Jeddah. He had Amina bi sit in his place to keep the shaghdaf balanced and then left to make arrangements for our sea travel, in the hopes that we would be able to depart today itself. My servant Abd ur-Rahman had my camel removed from the caravan. He then dragged it toward our house, fighting all the way, so that I would arrive there quickly. He spent a full two hours struggling with the camel before we finally reached Mahmud Asfi’s home, as before. I am feeling very sick now and have a fever. I did not eat anything, on account of my upset stomach.

Instead of having a meal, after going into the house I asked for two pomegranates, had the seeds removed, and ate them. Though it was a struggle, I wrote two letters to Hyderabad and had them posted. Nawab sahib was still making arrangements. Amina cooked qulia for me. The poor thing went to the market to buy the groceries herself. I stayed in bed. Nawab sahib came and said: “By chance, there is a ship headed to Constantinople, the Assouan [Aswan]. It belongs to the Khedivial Company. Its departure was delayed by today’s storm and will now leave tomorrow. If it weren’t for this ship staying back a day, we would have had to wait a full week for another, maybe even longer. People arriving in the caravans from Mecca often must wait as long as two weeks in Jeddah Sharif. It turns out that the storm ultimately worked in our favor.” Sarkar bought tickets on this vessel.45 Then it was evening, but I couldn’t eat anything. The fever did not go down. I passed the night fitfully.

Notes

1. 1.Begum Sarbuland’s attention to these personalized details distinguishes her account from those of her husband. Here, she gives the names of the two men, while he records them as “unknown Arab servants.” H. Khan, Pilgrimage to Mecca, 52.
2. 2.“Tum ne jhuta kyuñ kiya hai?” The term jhuta refers to food that has been made impure by being touched by another person, often of inferior status or caste. The servant suggests that, as fellow Muslims, his touch should not be defiling, but she does not agree.
3. 3.“Ana Islam. Enti Islam. Sawa sawa.”
4. 4.A location about midway between Mecca and Jeddah. It was a traditional stopping point for camel caravans between the two cities.
5. 5.Hamidullah records his disgust with and discomfort in these accommodations at length. H. Khan, Pilgrimage to Mecca, 54.
6. 6.“La, ana khanam, ana ma begam.” As noted later in her diary, the term khanam was current in the Ottoman Empire as a mark of the Turkish aristocracy. By invoking it here, she seems to have wanted to differentiate herself from the idea of opulent Indian rulers. Particularly, she may have thought that distancing herself from the word begum at that moment might have removed any assumed association with the fabulously wealthy female rulers of Bhopal State, who were known as begums. However, her effort here seems not to have been very successful. Several of Bhopal’s begums had performed pilgrimages, including Begum Sultan Jehan most recently in 1903.
7. 7.“I am present,” a ritualistic phrase chanted by pilgrims arriving for the hajj.
8. 8.They stayed in one of the “nizam’s rabats.” This was a collection of buildings purchased by the nizam of Hyderabad in 1860 to provide housing to pilgrims from the state. Though many of these buildings have since been demolished, this charitable establishment still houses several thousand pilgrims from the regions once ruled by the nizam today. H. Khan, Pilgrimage to Mecca, 55.
9. 9.The Haram Sharif, also known as the Masjid ul-Haram or the Great Mosque of Mecca, is a mosque that surrounds the Kaaba. It encompasses several important sites and hosts many of the hajj’s most central rituals.
10. 10.“All greatness belongs to God.”
11. 11.“My soul is devoted to you, O Prophet of God.”
12. 12.The Hatim is a low wall that is set directly across from one side of the Kaaba. It is located not near but almost at the center of the Haram.
13. 13.Zamzam is the name of a venerated well that is located inside the Haram.
14. 14.A black stone set in the corner of the Kaaba, it is revered as a relic and said to have been preserved since the Creation. It is often kissed by the devout, but its small size means that few can get close enough to do so. Thus, they “kiss” it from afar.
15. 15.Halimullah was the author’s son who was born in October 1909. Strangely, Halimullah is nowhere mentioned earlier in the diary. The appearance of his nurse here in Mecca is similarly difficult to explain. It seems that a large contingent came directly from Hyderabad to join them on the hajj, including this nurse, who, based on her inclusion here, was probably a longtime employee of the family. She seems to have brought the infant Halimullah with her and returned him to Hyderabad afterward.
16. 16.Nawab Sarbuland does not list his fellow travelers here but instead refers to them only as “our Indian servants.” Amina bi is also not named in this section but only referenced as “a servant.”
17. 17.That is, they imagined it before them rather than facing it physically, due to the constricted movement inside the litter.
18. 18.An Islamic day ends at sunset, or maghrib.
19. 19.The Stoning of the Devil is one of the rituals the comprises the hajj pilgrimage. It involves throwing a total of forty-nine stones at three pillars that symbolize Satan and temptation. The stones are traditionally collected in Muzdalifa.
20. 20.“Agar bakhshe zehe qismat, na bakhshe to shikayat kya / sar-e taslim kham hai, jo mizaj-e yar meñ a’e.” This is one of the few instances in which Begum Sarbuland cites poetry in the diary. The verse is attributed to Nawab Ali Asghar (b. 1860).
21. 21.“Ya sitti, anti baghit bosa?”
22. 22.“Na‘m ya Sayyadi.”
23. 23.“Sukhan ruh minaniha lama.” The meaning is unclear.
24. 24.It is unclear what legal case her father, Nawab Agha Mirza, might have been involved in.
25. 25.This is likely a reference to the famous travel account of Nawab Sikandar Begum, which was originally written in Urdu but published in English. See Sikandar Begum, Princess’s Pilgrimage; Sikandar Begum, “Tarikh.”
26. 26.They traveled to the Masjid ut-Tan’im, or Ayesha’s Mosque. H. Khan, Pilgrimage to Mecca, 74.
27. 27.“Markab, markab.”
28. 28.“Ana al-jauz fi al-qahwa khana. Hada baghit markab. Enta ruh min hina, ba‘dain jaib hada. Hada qahwa khana qarib al-masjid ‘umrah.” The word “jaib” here is likely intended to be ja’, “come.”
29. 29.“Enti ru suaya suaya ana enti shuf ana enta ruh min markab.”
30. 30.“La ana asbar hina enta jaibkum.”
31. 31.A ritual act and a mandatory component of the umrah and hajj.
32. 32.The Kaaba is covered in a large, black curtain.
33. 33.Hamidullah’s travel account says that this was the Jabal Abu Qubays. H. Khan, Pilgrimage to Mecca, 72. He also records visiting several other locations that she does not mention.
34. 34.Dala’il al-Khairat is a canonical collection of prayers composed in the fifteenth century. An ijazat is often a certificate confirming mastery of the text. Abd ul-Haqq was from Allahabad and a friend of Hamidullah’s father. See also page 254.
35. 35.This is presumably the Jannat al-Mu‘alla, an important cemetery in Mecca that contains the graves of many important figures from Islamic history. It is sometimes called the Jannat al-Ma‘la, but Begum Sarbuland’s travelogue consistently gives it with a central alif rather than an ain.
36. 36.Ali ibn Abi Talib (600–661), or Ali for short, was the Prophet’s cousin, the fourth Sunni Caliph, and the first Shi’i imam. Begum Sarbuland here includes a long list of epithets for him that I have omitted.
37. 37.This parenthetical seems to be an addition made by the book’s editor or scribe. In this case, the insertion aims to pose an alternative to Begum Sarbuland’s claim about the location of Ali’s birthplace.
38. 38.Literally, “the water-channel of mercy.”
39. 39.“Ya Ummi, enti turid hada ma’?”
40. 40.“Na‘m, ana urud ma’.”
41. 41.An immense amount of sweets, weighing approximately 160 pounds!
42. 42.The author’s second daughter.
43. 43.She had presumably started her period.
44. 44.Here, as elsewhere, Begum Sarbuland seems to believe, incorrectly, that all Arabs are Muslim and that non-Muslims are not Arab.
45. 45.Hamidullah’s account gives more details here: “With some difficulty I reached the office of the Khedivial Steamship Company. The agent had gone to start a steamer; but the sea being rough and stormy, he was not able to reach the ship or give orders for its starting. We had a return passage by the mail boat from Jeddah to Suez and our many passports fully entitled us to return to Egypt, but I was told by the agent’s clerk that they had received strict orders from Government to allow only Egyptian subjects to embark for Suez. He offered to book us by the S. S. Assouan to Constantinople. We accepted the offer, not desiring to stay in Jeddah. But for the providential storm, the Assouan would have started today.” H. Khan, Pilgrimage to Mecca, 76.